Many many years back, I once asked my late grandfather (my mom's father) - the only man I really really respect, admire and loved to death - "why people are sad" ?
"Baaji" (we all used to call him that) - was a very tall handsome man, looked like a Pathan - very fair with silvery hair, who had seen many horrors in his lifetime (during partition) told me "Thats a simple answer Beta" - "all of us are prisoners of our own personal history. We all believe that the main purpose of our life is to follow a plan. We never ask if that plan is ours or if it was created by another person. We accumulate experiences, memories, things, other peoples ideas, - all this is more than any ordinary person can possibly cope with. AND THAT IS WHY WE FORGET OUR DREAMS"
I remember telling him that he was lucky he knew what he wanted out of life, despite all the tragedy he went through in the early years of his life (just before my mother was born in 1947, during the India-Pakistan partition), whereas I dont even know what I want to do!
He brushed me off saying "ofcourse I knew".
He asked me how many people I knew who say - "I have never done what I wanted but then, thats life!. If they say they haven't done what they wanted, then, at some point, they must have known what it was that they did want."
"As for life, it just a story that other people tell us about the world and about how we should behave in the world"
He went onto say that " even worse are those people who say : I'm happy because I'm sacrificing my life for those I love"
(I have always meant to tell him that I know he perhaps was reffering to me and my life!)
(BTW - whatever he said - its still applicable to me! I am still the same old drifter not knowing what I want to do with myself and my life!)
God granted Baaji dignity and respect by giving him a very peacful death on 5th September 1995.
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