Saturday, June 28, 2008

In Pursuit of Happyness

Last few weeks / months were very restless for me. I just needed to get away for sometime from the same old routine and I guess I just needed that very well deserved break after a terribly hectic last few months!

What best a getaway of coming back home to the person (s) who matter most in my life!

Despite the displeasure of the lords and masters of my organization, I took 12 days leave from work with the thought of fulfilling every aspect of leave fantasy.

I am enjoying all the attention on me by folks what with those yummy aloo n gobi paranthas and rajma, chole and kadi chaval, indian/punju chinese et all with no deadlines or people to meet or phone calls.

Just eat, sleep, read and sleep all day long! Boy this is life. This is bliss :)

But despite this ideal scenario, the one thing I am most unfulfilled is of not getting to do “those” special things - the long drives on Noida Expressway, those lazy afternoon lunches with beer and crispy fried lamb; those walks in the Nehru Park etc etc.

I did, briefly, for just two hours, in the last 7 days go for that drive on the expressway but nothing else since I have been here but for few phone calls thrown in here and there once in a while.

But with this unfulfilling experience, I have begun to realize that when a dream (of coming home after 6 long months of loneliness) comes true, you don’t always get the happiness you thought would come with it;
Happiness is not something you can feel every moment of the day;
Happiness comes in small doses, so just be grateful for that;
It’s pointless to wish for a BIG happiness because it wont happen;

Perhaps Happiness is overrated!

Like most people, everything I do, everything I hope for and everything I regret, hinges on the pursuit of personal happiness.

Wikipedia describes happiness as an emotion associated with feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense joy.

It is said that 50 per cent of a person’s happiness depends on his genes. A further 10 to 15 per cent comes from variables such as socio-economic status, marital or relationship status and health. The remaining reasons do not have a discernible cause.

I have certainly felt some contentment and satisfaction (coming from that drive) but I suspect I have ever felt bliss. And I am dead sure I have never ever known intense joy.

I so yearn to be happy and I so want to be happier. The irony is that this hunger and search for happiness is perhaps the reason I often find my self unhappy. :(

I did a little survey and asked around : On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the pinnacle of contentment, what would you rate your happiness level?

My mom gave herself between 6 to 7 (reason my not being married as yet!!). My sis-in-law said 8 heading for 10 now (the soon to be privilege of becoming a mother). A friend said 7 but the rating would go up if his beloved was back in life, the rating would shoot to 9.

Me? Dunno know! Perhaps between 5 to 7! It’s 5 when I’m functioning in neutral gear and 7 when everything I yearn for seems to be a reality (like that drive remember :) – scarily good but terribly short lived and hence only a ranking until 7!.

The problem of happiness is that it does not last, and it is subjected to the law of diminishing returns.

Scientist believe that everyone has an innate happiness “set point” to which we invariable return to. Good or bad events move us from that set point for a while, but it seems you can’t permanently raise or lower your in-born happiness level – or so the theory goes.

What is certainly clear to me is that like most things in life, happiness too is subjected to the law of diminishing returns – to attain something you wish for does make you happy, but only to a point. Beyond that, more and more of that thing add’s less and less to your happiness! (That’s called being unfulfilled).

I have this MacFlurry example. I love it and rarely have this sinful thing, but when I do, I greedily order two. The problem is that the first one is so satisfying, finishing the second wants to make me puke.

This is the scenario with my life and happiness too – as it is it is so hard to come by, yet when I do find it, it either doesn’t last long, or looses it’s magic after a while (because of the circumstances!), and am back to being 5 on the happiness scale.

My best friend Mrs P argues that happiness would be meaningless if one felt happy all the time. How can you understand happiness unless one has lived through unhappiness and can then compare the tow? – wise words eh!

The trick perhaps is to learn to live for the moment and appreciate what you have (but what happens when the moment is short lived and borrowed and the wait is endless!!!)
Our "that" special loved one(s) can't give something that is not already ours.

Being happy does not mean everything is perfect - it simply means you've decided to see beyond imperfections.

It is hard to be happy when you chase after happiness, forgetting that, hey, it could well be right there, staring at you, in the NOW and not stuck in the past or the future.

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