So here I am on New Year's eve back to square one again.
I'm referring to my 2007 New Year resolution to loose weight, and how I've reneged on it for a god alone knows which year in running!
The last time I stepped on the weighing scale, the needle flickered on the over weight end of the scale. For a second it hoeverd around the 0h-so-promising 58 kg before settling on some uncalled for a number. (I cant be revealing my weight now after having done so with my age in one of my earlier blogs :)
Oh, the cruelty of this weight watching game.
Give or take a few grams here and there, I have been packing the same heft for the past two years since I moved to Singapore - an incridble scary hulk phase where I have piled on nearly 8 kg or so.
I blame the horizontal growth spurt on Singapore - the good clean air and and water, chicken rice and noodles and the lazy wet weather.
Ofocourse partly to blame is my 'punju' eating habit of chicken only and thus ensuring the liberal doses of the oh so delicious Singapore Chicken rice with the absloutely red hot garlicy saue............uuhmm divine.
Its not that I am not trying to fight the flab.
I wake up at 6 am every day (just about) and walk and really walk hard till my shins hurt, apart from a fruit and no-lunch eating regime and a BIG no-no to lucheon meetings.
But none of these methods have helped much, because I cant - and wont give up my love for the marvellous curry puffs and the junk food and the Indian maggie noodles (which I get thanks to Mustaffa).
So after two years of fretting and fuming about my weight, I have decided enough is enough.
No more feeling lousy about the extra kilos that I have gained. I am going to be ever so grateful for my spare tyre and thunder thighs that rub against each other when I walk.
For years now, its been the politically correct thing to crow that big is beautiful and that its the inner beauty that counts etc etc. So I will not be the first woman to celebrate being 'pleasantly not so thin' anymore.
My mother says - ' I have filled up' - whatever that ever meant!
I dont wish to be paper thin anymore (like I used to be once upon a time 10 years back - just 48 kg with a waist of just 23").
Have you ever seen the size 0 Victoria Beckham with a scowl always (despite having the most sort after husband and endless number of kids and moeny to role around) and Kate Moss looking perpetually sad?
I remember reading the theory of 2000 Nobel prize winner geneticist James Watson - that fat people were happier than thin ones. He found that extra weight on men and women had the biological effect of making them well-rounded in character. They are aslo likely to have better sex lives.
Though Dr Watson's propositions are a wee bit flawed because I am still ashamed of my extra weight because of all all those steal deals that I had to give a miss at the various malls and boutiques in Singapore these days, just because they dint have my size!
I, for one, certainly dont know if I need to feel guilty for not having kept to my yet another New Year resolution - and whether to wake up tomorrow morning to 'yet' another resolution.
But then, promises (resolutions) are meant to be broken - right?
You only live once and tomorrow is another day!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
(borrowed) Uncanny truths
- Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
- To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
- The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
- Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
- In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
- All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
- Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
- Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
- If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
- You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
- Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
- As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
- He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.
- Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
- When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
- If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.
- You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
- The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
- After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
- Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
- (this one is for a friend who calls me pessimistic - an original!)
Positiveness is in my blood..... I'm B+ :)
CHEERS and Seasons greetings!!
- To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
- The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
- Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
- In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
- All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
- Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
- Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
- If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
- You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
- Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
- As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
- He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.
- Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
- When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
- If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.
- You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
- The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
- After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
- Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
- (this one is for a friend who calls me pessimistic - an original!)
Positiveness is in my blood..... I'm B+ :)
CHEERS and Seasons greetings!!
imperfect happiness
Being happy does not mean everything is perfect - it simply means you have decided to see beyond imperfections.
So then is 'living with a detached amusement' the only way to enjoy life?
But then have we ever asked a soul loosing love, like life loosing blood!
So then is 'living with a detached amusement' the only way to enjoy life?
But then have we ever asked a soul loosing love, like life loosing blood!
Paradox of life
Whatever you want you dont get
Whatever you get you dont enjoy
Whatever you enjoy is not permanenet
Whatever is permanenet is boring!
Waiting is painful.
Foregetting is painful.
Not knowing which to do is suffering!
When we struggle with each other, we are struggling with ourselves instead.
Every fault we see in the each other touches a denied weakness in ourself.
Every conflict we wage is an excuse not to face conflict within.
Our "that" special loved one cant give something that is not already ours.
When we truly find love, we find ourselves! OR is it when we find ourselves, we find true love!
Its said that "true love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be".
Then why dont we accept this and move on and along?!
Whatever you get you dont enjoy
Whatever you enjoy is not permanenet
Whatever is permanenet is boring!
Waiting is painful.
Foregetting is painful.
Not knowing which to do is suffering!
When we struggle with each other, we are struggling with ourselves instead.
Every fault we see in the each other touches a denied weakness in ourself.
Every conflict we wage is an excuse not to face conflict within.
Our "that" special loved one cant give something that is not already ours.
When we truly find love, we find ourselves! OR is it when we find ourselves, we find true love!
Its said that "true love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be".
Then why dont we accept this and move on and along?!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Unfullfilled Skeptic
An easy life doesn't teach us anything.
We can have excuses, or we can have health, love, understanding, adventure, happiness. We design our lives through the power of our choices.
We feel most helpless when we've made our choices by "default", when we haven't designed our lives on our own.
Why do we get stuck in a never-ending opening? At first, it feels real, sheer delight. It is the part of the relation in which you are at your best : fun, charming, excited, exciting, interesting, interested. Its a time when one is most comfortable and in love with life - no need to mobilise your defences, so you are cuddling a teddy bear called life and not a giant cactus.
But beginnings cannot be prolonged endlessly. They cannot be stated and restated - endlessly. They must develop and move on, otherwise die.
We have visions of something wonderful that awaits us. Yet we cannot get there from here! We are faced with a wall of solid defences. We get frustrated - unable to go back and unable to move forward - in a state of constant struggle.
Life is a chess game in which each party has its singular objective even as it engages the other. Mid-game, we develop a struggle which intensifes and bits and pieces of each side are lost, both sides diminished. And end-game in which one traps and paralayzes the other.
I see life as this metaphor - a chess game. The king and queen are lost - an opportunity so filled with promise, so rare and so beautiful goes unfulfilled!
Once the game is over - both the king and pawn go back into the same box! And then I realise that "fairness is a virtue only because the world (life) is so unfair"!
And then, we wonder why we gave our life to become the person we are right now.
Is it worth it?
We can have excuses, or we can have health, love, understanding, adventure, happiness. We design our lives through the power of our choices.
We feel most helpless when we've made our choices by "default", when we haven't designed our lives on our own.
Why do we get stuck in a never-ending opening? At first, it feels real, sheer delight. It is the part of the relation in which you are at your best : fun, charming, excited, exciting, interesting, interested. Its a time when one is most comfortable and in love with life - no need to mobilise your defences, so you are cuddling a teddy bear called life and not a giant cactus.
But beginnings cannot be prolonged endlessly. They cannot be stated and restated - endlessly. They must develop and move on, otherwise die.
We have visions of something wonderful that awaits us. Yet we cannot get there from here! We are faced with a wall of solid defences. We get frustrated - unable to go back and unable to move forward - in a state of constant struggle.
Life is a chess game in which each party has its singular objective even as it engages the other. Mid-game, we develop a struggle which intensifes and bits and pieces of each side are lost, both sides diminished. And end-game in which one traps and paralayzes the other.
I see life as this metaphor - a chess game. The king and queen are lost - an opportunity so filled with promise, so rare and so beautiful goes unfulfilled!
Once the game is over - both the king and pawn go back into the same box! And then I realise that "fairness is a virtue only because the world (life) is so unfair"!
And then, we wonder why we gave our life to become the person we are right now.
Is it worth it?
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Timeless....vainty!
To quote a mug my friend bought me ........"you are only young once, but you can stay immature forever".
Age is more than just a number or is it?
In mycase the figure must be halved when I behave like I'm still 18, merrily trying to squeeze into my decade old jeans or get starry eyed when I see Tom Cruise on TV.
Other times, I'm double my age, hoarding plastic food contaniners and worry about osteoporosis!
I would like to believe I can still pass a twenthysomething (well maybe not anymore when I am trumpeting my age), but seriously whats the big deal admitting to how many years one has lived? What would shaving a copuple of years off accomplish?
I'm surprised though, by how coy some women and even men - supposedly the less vain half of the species - are about their age.
In Singapore, the newspapers are almost fanatical about revealing the age of the individuals. I was told by a journalist friend here that to believe the news about a Mr Tan, 19, biting a dog has a different slant from a Mr Tan who is 91!
For one, readers would wonder how an elederly Mr Tan at 91 is expected to have all his teeth intact :) Right?
So does it all boil down to vanity?
In my case, I dont know where I stand - timeless, ageless, I guess.
Far from being in denial, I'm very aware that I dont act my age - whatever that means - and this can hardly keep track of how old I atually am. Half-jokingly, my mother says : I'm an immature 30 something who did not get past 20. Not only do I not act my age, I'm constantly regressing".
I feel the more stressful and busy work gets, the more important it is to be in touch with your inner juvenile delinquent. I know I can act serious and mature when the time calls for it, at work, but the rest of the time I am not too sure I act my age.
I cheekily proclaim.....the 30's are now the 20's! and I shall want to celebrate life outrageously, every day and forever!
Age is more than just a number or is it?
In mycase the figure must be halved when I behave like I'm still 18, merrily trying to squeeze into my decade old jeans or get starry eyed when I see Tom Cruise on TV.
Other times, I'm double my age, hoarding plastic food contaniners and worry about osteoporosis!
I would like to believe I can still pass a twenthysomething (well maybe not anymore when I am trumpeting my age), but seriously whats the big deal admitting to how many years one has lived? What would shaving a copuple of years off accomplish?
I'm surprised though, by how coy some women and even men - supposedly the less vain half of the species - are about their age.
In Singapore, the newspapers are almost fanatical about revealing the age of the individuals. I was told by a journalist friend here that to believe the news about a Mr Tan, 19, biting a dog has a different slant from a Mr Tan who is 91!
For one, readers would wonder how an elederly Mr Tan at 91 is expected to have all his teeth intact :) Right?
So does it all boil down to vanity?
In my case, I dont know where I stand - timeless, ageless, I guess.
Far from being in denial, I'm very aware that I dont act my age - whatever that means - and this can hardly keep track of how old I atually am. Half-jokingly, my mother says : I'm an immature 30 something who did not get past 20. Not only do I not act my age, I'm constantly regressing".
I feel the more stressful and busy work gets, the more important it is to be in touch with your inner juvenile delinquent. I know I can act serious and mature when the time calls for it, at work, but the rest of the time I am not too sure I act my age.
I cheekily proclaim.....the 30's are now the 20's! and I shall want to celebrate life outrageously, every day and forever!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Imagine this in a civilized world!
Try this for a scenario - a young woman is gang-raped in say usa or london. The rapists are given a few months, while the victim is sentenced to three months in jail with 90 lashes as well. But when her lawyer appeals for a stiffer sentence for the men, it is her sentence that is doubled!
Can you image the worldwide uproar?!
Except this has actually happened in Saudi Arabia. In much of the muslim world, this horrifying episode has been virtually blanked out of the public consciousness, with the media maintaining a discreet silence.
And to top it all, the judges have barred the defence lawyer from appearing in their court. Because according to them the lawyer has attempted to influence the court by going public with this story!
The tragedy began last year when this 19 year old woman got into a male colleagues car to discuss some last minute work. Some men enter the car, force them to drive into some deserted area, where they are joined by the rest of the gang. There, they gang-rape the lady and attack her male companion.
When the traumatised woman and her husdand report the matter to the police, she is accused of being the company of a 'na-mehram' (an un-related male), a crime in Saudi Arabia. She gets sentensed to three months jail and 90 lashes and when she appeals, the sentence is doubled.
Imagine this in a civilzed world!
Saudi Arabia - the planets biggest exporter of petroleum, the Saudi ruling family does not care what the rest of the world thinks of them or their country. Even the White House, normally ever ready to pass judgement or critise human-rights violations around the world are reduced to mumbling about "cultual differences"!
This whole epidode casts an unflattering light on the archaic laws, interpreted by judges or mullas with little or no formal legal training. How can the backbone of a country or a set of countries following a certain relegious law be a collection of tribal customs and rules imposed by men who seldom bother and are invariably harsh and anti-women?
No system in the civilized world allows victims of crimes to be punished and yet in a major part of the world its a the plight of half of the human race....women....... dont get the respect and regard for being the "continum of human life".
We are fighting to save the planet. How about saving the other half of the human race as well?
Is this a civilized world we live in?
Can you image the worldwide uproar?!
Except this has actually happened in Saudi Arabia. In much of the muslim world, this horrifying episode has been virtually blanked out of the public consciousness, with the media maintaining a discreet silence.
And to top it all, the judges have barred the defence lawyer from appearing in their court. Because according to them the lawyer has attempted to influence the court by going public with this story!
The tragedy began last year when this 19 year old woman got into a male colleagues car to discuss some last minute work. Some men enter the car, force them to drive into some deserted area, where they are joined by the rest of the gang. There, they gang-rape the lady and attack her male companion.
When the traumatised woman and her husdand report the matter to the police, she is accused of being the company of a 'na-mehram' (an un-related male), a crime in Saudi Arabia. She gets sentensed to three months jail and 90 lashes and when she appeals, the sentence is doubled.
Imagine this in a civilzed world!
Saudi Arabia - the planets biggest exporter of petroleum, the Saudi ruling family does not care what the rest of the world thinks of them or their country. Even the White House, normally ever ready to pass judgement or critise human-rights violations around the world are reduced to mumbling about "cultual differences"!
This whole epidode casts an unflattering light on the archaic laws, interpreted by judges or mullas with little or no formal legal training. How can the backbone of a country or a set of countries following a certain relegious law be a collection of tribal customs and rules imposed by men who seldom bother and are invariably harsh and anti-women?
No system in the civilized world allows victims of crimes to be punished and yet in a major part of the world its a the plight of half of the human race....women....... dont get the respect and regard for being the "continum of human life".
We are fighting to save the planet. How about saving the other half of the human race as well?
Is this a civilized world we live in?
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