Unfullfilled Skeptic

An easy life doesn't teach us anything.

We can have excuses, or we can have health, love, understanding, adventure, happiness. We design our lives through the power of our choices.

We feel most helpless when we've made our choices by "default", when we haven't designed our lives on our own.

Why do we get stuck in a never-ending opening? At first, it feels real, sheer delight. It is the part of the relation in which you are at your best : fun, charming, excited, exciting, interesting, interested. Its a time when one is most comfortable and in love with life - no need to mobilise your defences, so you are cuddling a teddy bear called life and not a giant cactus.

But beginnings cannot be prolonged endlessly. They cannot be stated and restated - endlessly. They must develop and move on, otherwise die.

We have visions of something wonderful that awaits us. Yet we cannot get there from here! We are faced with a wall of solid defences. We get frustrated - unable to go back and unable to move forward - in a state of constant struggle.

Life is a chess game in which each party has its singular objective even as it engages the other. Mid-game, we develop a struggle which intensifes and bits and pieces of each side are lost, both sides diminished. And end-game in which one traps and paralayzes the other.

I see life as this metaphor - a chess game. The king and queen are lost - an opportunity so filled with promise, so rare and so beautiful goes unfulfilled!

Once the game is over - both the king and pawn go back into the same box! And then I realise that "fairness is a virtue only because the world (life) is so unfair"!

And then, we wonder why we gave our life to become the person we are right now.
Is it worth it?