Fill of life

So here I am on New Year's eve back to square one again.
I'm referring to my 2007 New Year resolution to loose weight, and how I've reneged on it for a god alone knows which year in running!

The last time I stepped on the weighing scale, the needle flickered on the over weight end of the scale. For a second it hoeverd around the 0h-so-promising 58 kg before settling on some uncalled for a number. (I cant be revealing my weight now after having done so with my age in one of my earlier blogs :)

Oh, the cruelty of this weight watching game.

Give or take a few grams here and there, I have been packing the same heft for the past two years since I moved to Singapore - an incridble scary hulk phase where I have piled on nearly 8 kg or so.

I blame the horizontal growth spurt on Singapore - the good clean air and and water, chicken rice and noodles and the lazy wet weather.
Ofocourse partly to blame is my 'punju' eating habit of chicken only and thus ensuring the liberal doses of the oh so delicious Singapore Chicken rice with the absloutely red hot garlicy saue............uuhmm divine.

Its not that I am not trying to fight the flab.
I wake up at 6 am every day (just about) and walk and really walk hard till my shins hurt, apart from a fruit and no-lunch eating regime and a BIG no-no to lucheon meetings.

But none of these methods have helped much, because I cant - and wont give up my love for the marvellous curry puffs and the junk food and the Indian maggie noodles (which I get thanks to Mustaffa).

So after two years of fretting and fuming about my weight, I have decided enough is enough.

No more feeling lousy about the extra kilos that I have gained. I am going to be ever so grateful for my spare tyre and thunder thighs that rub against each other when I walk.

For years now, its been the politically correct thing to crow that big is beautiful and that its the inner beauty that counts etc etc. So I will not be the first woman to celebrate being 'pleasantly not so thin' anymore.

My mother says - ' I have filled up' - whatever that ever meant!

I dont wish to be paper thin anymore (like I used to be once upon a time 10 years back - just 48 kg with a waist of just 23").
Have you ever seen the size 0 Victoria Beckham with a scowl always (despite having the most sort after husband and endless number of kids and moeny to role around) and Kate Moss looking perpetually sad?

I remember reading the theory of 2000 Nobel prize winner geneticist James Watson - that fat people were happier than thin ones. He found that extra weight on men and women had the biological effect of making them well-rounded in character. They are aslo likely to have better sex lives.

Though Dr Watson's propositions are a wee bit flawed because I am still ashamed of my extra weight because of all all those steal deals that I had to give a miss at the various malls and boutiques in Singapore these days, just because they dint have my size!

I, for one, certainly dont know if I need to feel guilty for not having kept to my yet another New Year resolution - and whether to wake up tomorrow morning to 'yet' another resolution.

But then, promises (resolutions) are meant to be broken - right?
You only live once and tomorrow is another day!